For inkstains , the sin challenge entry thingy
*less than 500 words, unless you believe in how many words a picture is worth. lalalala.
**I was tempted to recycle the angsty Lucifer Falls story again, but I thought I'd recycle Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf postcards instead
***and I'm probly doing this all wrong
Susan tried to reach nirvana from Topeka.
And when she died, like people do, they put her on trial. But first, they had to determine if what she did was, like they contended, sin indeed.
“ Jesus is the only way to heaven. Yoga? Bah! Pagan new age witchery! “ the people from Sunday school said, sputtering. "Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live!” This last one made her frown, since she was dead anyway.
Next, they brought in her children. “ She neglected us because of the yoga,“ the children spat, “She forgot to feed us. And the few times she didn’t, it was all birdseed, sprouts and tofu. Evil, evil woman.”
They brought in her husband next, and she wondered whether he remembered the vows they took, to be on each other’s side, no matter that the world would turn against them, for better, for worse, in sickness and in health. “She loved her yogi more than me, “he muttered. “That’s adultery, innit?”
They brought in person after person to testify. Some said it was a mortal sin, some said it was venial, but the majority made no such distinction. Sin is sin, the Protestants said, and while she used to be one of them, she knew better than to protest.
“Idolatry,” said the priest.
“Pride, “ said his altar boy.
“Murder, “ said the little child who looked at the skinny children thinking she would rather die than eat soy milk.
“Covetousness, “ said the nonpracticing Hindus and Buddhists. “How dare she appropriate a culture not her own?“
(Of course, the advocate objected to this as immaterial and irrelevant on the grounds that they had no place using the Christian commandments when they weren’t Christian. The objection was overruled-- the prosecutor was wily and quoted some similar version off their tenets.)
“Thou shalt not lie!” the butcher boomed when it was his turn. “ Passing off tofu and shiitake as steaks! Liar!” She found this funny and giggled, just as her advocate was objecting yet again, saying that her vegetarianism wasn’t what the trial was about. Again, the objection was overruled.
When it was time for the closing arguments, the prosecutor argued passionately for her to be sent to hell, while the defender argued that it was all a case of insanity. But insanity pleas rarely work, and when the verdict came down, no one was surprised.
Guilty, the little piece of paper said.
The judge sentenced her to two lifetimes with her previous life counted as time served, and no one complained. The second lifetime would be on probation.
The judge himself led her out of the courtroom for processing, saying ,“Don’t ever let me see you in my courtroom again. You can do better this time.”
She looked at the judge, wondering what he meant. He smiled and said, “Susan. You’re not in Kansas anymore. “